What now? Gender.

This is part of a journal entry series for a class. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

Marginalized. Diminished. Less. Voiceless. Un-Godlike. Human-less. Love-less. Unvalued. Sinful. Woman. Typically, this is the image the church tries to cast of women. This image is not typically spoken, but most often acted out in subversive attitudes. Likewise, words like ‘egalitarian’ are sometimes used with little weight or action behind definition. Unfortunately, this image and these attitudes are a disservice to God, church, and the world.

Being engendered a female from conception; I have faced gender issues from the moment of birth. Culture has attempted to school me in what is appropriate feminine behavior. Scandalously, I have also been “me” from conception as well. My identity is not centered on my gender, but who I am as God has created me. Gender just happens to be one component. It is not the fullness of me.

Typically in the past, I have been quick to dismiss this issue of gender, because I have held an apathetic view towards it. I would move in the things I wanted to. If you knew me, you would let me. If you did not know me, well, that was just too bad, because it would not stop me. Beyond locating the appropriate restroom (which I have occasionally failed at), I did not consider it a large issue in my life. Before I was a Christian, I believed in an equal lifting of both men and women. Sexist, diminishing jokes about men disturb me as much as they do about women.

However, surprisingly, it is the Church, which has thrust me in to truly considering how I view gender. It is the Church (male and female) that has seriously disappointed and enrages me regarding the way gender is approached. There is an atmosphere of elitism. As a woman, in my expression of frustration, I will be labeled, dismissed, and/or patronized. On rare occasion, I may be understood, or shockingly, accepted. Seminary has forced my frustration to the forefront. Mostly because I have witnessed my brilliant and Christ-like sisters feeling silenced and diminished. It disgusts me.

The gender issue, specifically female leadership, was raised shortly after I became a Christian. Controversy ensued in our church, and a dialogue was initiated, which I thought very helpful. Both men and women I held in respect and admiration landed on either side of this gender issue. (Perhaps some would consider it an issue of interpretation, either way it is still enmeshed in gender.) I was shocked and confused that the church would have such an issue. It did not reflect the image of God I held.

Furthermore, I was beginning my second year as a Platoon Leader in the Army National Guard. I was one of the first female leaders assigned to a combat unit in Wisconsin. My platoon consisted of approximately forty male soldiers of varying ages. My leadership and skills were readily accepted and established a level of respect. Individuals who did not view me in ‘God’s context’ accepted me. Yet, the Church seemingly told me that the image of God I bore was not acceptable, in who I was or to do what God had created me to do— to lead. (Or acceptable only in certain context.)

I prayerfully wrestled and journal-ed on the issue, asking God to make (His) will clear to me, and obediently, I would submit to it. Two contradictory images of God were before me, and my wrestling was engrained here.

1. God created me, gifted me, and then limited me. (He) gave me legs, chained them tight, and then told me to run. (He) was decidedly male, and although, I supposedly was created in (His) image, I was not allowed to participate in it or only selected portions of it. He would call me, send me then slam the door in my face.

My gut response was to rip apart my Bible and keep only the portions that specifically addressed women, because the rest of it was inapplicable to me. God was being defined in male and female terms, and only masculinity was acceptable. When faced with that same God image today, I could easily abandon this faith, because Christianity would be a farce to me. Jesus called us to humble and submit ourselves, love each other, and defend the marginalized, and yet, the church marginalizes, shallowly loves, and only requires a certain group of people to submit.

2. God created me, gifted me, and accepted me. People judge by the outside appearance, but God judges the heart. (He) was more concerned with my heart. (He) was not surprised that I was a woman. He created me with purpose and intention. God was neither male nor female. This God most accurately reflected everything I knew about His character and the Bible as a whole.

God has not called us to live in the confines of Genesis 3, so why are we content to? He desires to restore all our relationships (with Him and with each other) to a pre-fall condition. My intent is not to slight others or the lifestyle of who God has created them to be. Nor am I asking for androgyny. Simply my intent is a fuller unity of the Church in accepting equally all its members in God’s image.

Since God has me in this, my current wrestling is what to do? How do I help the marginalized (gender, class, race, etc.)? How do I respond as Jesus would? As I continue to move in what God has called me, I will continue to encounter this issue, and I am challenged to see God’s image in others, accept and love them. My expression of who I am, the gifting, talent, and personality I possess, matched with the equality that I seek is not an attempt to diminish men or women, but a desire for us to see a much fuller image of God and live with each other in view of God’s grace and love.

Sexuality

This is part of a journal entry series for a class. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

Four subjects you should never talk about: religion, politics, money and sex. In fact, do not even speak about sex in anything above a whisper, and avoid saying it whenever possible. Whether implicitly stated or not, this reflected a cultural/societal attitude. We learned more about ‘our changing bodies’ and sex from school films, peers (rarely respectfully), and astute observation than we did from parents or the church. Was God even aware that sex existed? Is it just something I am not supposed to do or even think about?

Having grown up on a Dairy Farm, I was aware of sexual dynamics a bull, a cow, heat, crazed looks, the act, pregnancy, and voila~ baby calf (which a male calf was usually castrated). It all seemed pretty scientific, and honestly, a little painful. God, does sex make us crazed, obsessed, and maybe, a little stupid? Does it lead to pain? Our consciousness certainly makes us different than animals.

Sexuality came to the forefront in my university years: I was in the theater! In High School, the closest contact I had with homosexuality was reading Walt Whitman. Here I was confronted with homosexual men and women. My freshman year I was at a theater party, a guy and girl literally had me cornered, back to the wall, and started asking if I liked girls or guys. Almost hyper-ventilating, I was quick on my reply, “Guys, I like guys.” Ah…. God, care to explain this? Gay, lesbian, bi—what? Heck, their people, whatever, just not my thing.

I still do not know entirely what to make of homosexuality. However, I dislike the hateful way the Church treats individuals within that lifestyle. Is it a lifestyle? Are people born homosexual, or is it a combination of both? Does God create people that way? Or maybe it is like a disability, a genetic flaw. I have difficulty equating it simply to a ‘disability,’ mostly because of the value society assigns to the disabled. Straight, gay, disabled, or not – why are we so likely to devalue one in valuing the other? I do not think God desires to create people homosexual anymore than He desires for them to be disabled, but this does not negate their value as humans.

Other questions arise out of various church traditions: Are women temptresses? Are men out of control? Is God tempting us to be out of control? Why does sexuality put us at such odds with one another? Is sex what needs to happen not necessarily because you love someone, but because you need to be loved?

I do not think God meant it to be used as an exercise of power between the sexes. Yet in the degradation of each gender, I feel violated, because it fails to recognize the value we each have as created male and female in the image of God. Nor are can I accept that men and women are simply sex-crazed beings out of control. However, sex beyond God’s context (marriage/love) has brought physical, emotional, and psychological pain into people’s lives.

The Bible makes it clear that God created sex/sexuality as a good thing. Adam and Eve are told to be fruitful and multiply, but combating a sterile, duty perspective, Song of Songs also provides an image of a love-struck, passionate sexual relationship. Some people argue that Eve out of her sexuality tempted Adam, and Adam, in the weakness of his sexuality, fell for it, but I think that interpretation (besides inaccurate) slights God, and fails to recognize our desire as humanity to make ourselves like God.

I do not believe Yahweh-God is a sexual being (especially as we compare Him to the Greco-Roman Gods), but He created sex as a wedding gift not only for procreation, but also for pleasure. There is a growing church trend to address sex and sexuality from a Biblical perspective. Sex is prevalent in our society, because God created us as sexual beings. Yahweh is not afraid of us talking about sex.

It is through my relationship with Christ that I have been able to come to a much healthier understanding of sexuality as God has created it. In understanding sexuality within God’s context, the subject can be broached with purity and not a sense of speaking a dirty language.

Conflict

This is part of a journal entry series for a class. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”
--William James, American Psychologist and Philosopher

The inevitable, conflict typically occurs in the midst of relationships. It can either be avoided or engaged. Conflict involves people attempting to navigate the perilous points of relationships, which is difficult. Our human tendency to avoid conflict can actually result in greater conflict versus addressing issues upfront as they arise. I generally try to approach conflict by facing it, because I do not mind conflict.
Just because I do not typically avoid conflict, however, does not mean I seek it like caffeine junkies hunt out their roasted blend. I think my view of conflict is pretty positive. You want change, transformation, improvement— you will have conflict. When properly understood and handled, conflict can be a happy thing. I know that sounds oxymoronic, but it can result in deeper relationships and personal transformation (for everyone involved). Conflict can be a loving action.
Thus, my image of God captures Him in the midst of conflict. He did not avoid conflict. He questioned Adam and Eve in the Garden. He set the boundaries. Repeatedly, he sent prophets to Israel and called them to repent. The Prophets were continually immersed in conflict! Job desires to state his case before God. Although, we do not hear God’s voice until the last chapter (excluding the prologue), God is not avoiding Job. Simply, He is sovereign and does not need to explain Himself to Job.
We also see Jesus in conflict with others at times: demons, Pharisees/Sadducees, temple merchants, Disciples, and himself. His conflicts ranged from start to small to large to finish. Jesus warns his disciples that there will be conflict. Conflict is pictured throughout the Bible finally arriving at force in Revelations. Conflict is inevitable for God as well, because it is in the midst of relationship— rebellious angels and fallen humanity.
So why would I think that I am any less immune? Thus, I need to respond like Jesus. One of my favorite examples is Jesus calling the religious leaders a “brood of vipers.” A great desire exists within me to call “a spade, a spade,” and “a jerk, a jerk.” Recognizably, this is necessary at times.
However, this is also the trap of my humanity and demonstrates a necessity for conflict to be navigated with discernment, wisdom and compassion. Within the midst of conflict, Jesus loved people. Sometimes, I would rather tie a millstone around their necks.
Yet, conflict is necessary because it involves saying difficult things and brings conviction. The Holy Spirit brings conflict into my life, out of grace, love, and truth. Our triune God invokes conflict for our benefit: transforming our relationships, making us Holy, and shaping our lives to be like Jesus. He does not avoid conflict or writes us off in the midst of it, but embraces us with the security of a relationship in spite of conflict.
Jesus experienced conflict at the Garden, but offered his life in obedience. I feel compelled to do the same while acknowledging conflict is formative, yet difficult. However, I must be careful not to put myself in the seat of divinity. Sometimes immediate or positive results are unrealized. Thus, it needs to be tempered with truth and love. In addressing conflict, it is easy for me to sit in God’s divinity rather than exist in the corpus of God’s humanity.
I prefer bringing conflict versus receiving conflict. Receiving it reminds me of my imperfection. However, I would rather have conflict and deeper relationships than the abandonment of avoidance. It forces me to address what is wrong in my lives, and to journey with others. In essence, I am okay with conflict, and God is okay with conflict. God uses conflict to bring transformation and tempers it with truth and love. He is doing that in my life and teaching me to do the same.