Super-Hero Humanity

This is the final journal entry in a series for a class taken in Spring 2007. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

My humanity has always posed a bit of a challenge. I have wished for super-human powers, but usually this is done out of selfish ambition versus the good of all humanity. I am not saying I would not serve humanity with my awesome powers. I am just thinking it would be nice to utilize my mental prowess or superhuman ability to shut the door or get something out of the refrigerator without physically getting up. Perhaps, the innate ability to ward off stains, and of course, set the world right wherever I go. Jesus does healings, miracles, and tosses out demons, but I never saw him utilize His heat-vision to warm a piece of toast. At times, I expect Superpower Jesus to superpower me.

I think most Christians have tortured themselves at some point with, “I’m not supposed to say that, think that, or act that. So, why did I? What if people really knew?” Knew what? -- That you are human? My goodness, I guess that would be a surprise.

It seems to me that we put a lot of undue pressure on ourselves towards perfection. I am highly guilty setting a high level of behavior for myself. I expect a level of perfection from myself, and as Christians, we begin to expect a high level/perfect behavior from each other. Churches really only tolerate a certain level or kind of behavior. Would I consider God ready to put some of us out as quickly as we are apt to do to each other? I think we are prone to do it quicker.

Occasionally, I am resentful of the way the Holy Spirit convicts me. I wonder why the Holy Spirit convicts me for a certain behavior, word, action, and yet, I see other Christians getting away with it. My response is not much better than a second graders, “How come they can do that, but I can’t?” Secretly, I want to get away with it, too. I also resent them for not trying to live to a higher standard of Christ-like obedience and behavior. (In honesty, my standard.) I perceive my actions would be different when at times they are very much the same. Yet, I do not think of God as being unfair, but just. It is my own difficulty with tolerance.

My favorite super-hero since I was young was Spiderman, because he was cool, had a quick wit, and wrestled with angst. In short, he was really human. Peter Parker was always wondering if he was doing the right thing. Inevitably, when he did the right thing, it would be misunderstood. As I have grown and become more Christ-like, I am still undoubtedly and ontologically imperfect. Now that I follow Christ, my life is much healthier and I make better choices, but I still mess up and am prone to the same mistakes. After seminary, I still will not be perfect or any closer to perfection. Yet, I will continue to grow and experience transformation.

God does not expect perfection. He desires obedience. It is easy to paint Jesus as stoic and far removed from His humanity. However, scripture attests to Jesus’ full humanity and divinity. Yet, we fail to identify Jesus’ humanity as being similar to our own. Our humanity, however, is not evil. (I know this may slam against some theologies. Oh well.) I think part of our transformation is being able to grasp or understand our humanity, yet, press into the divine.

The church often accepts the fact that we are human in the beginning of our walks. However, at some point, a subconscious expectation grasps us-- our transformation should involve perfection. We expect that we should become super-hero Christians. If I am unable to embrace my humanity then am I readily able to accept others in theirs?

In a similar conversation regarding this and change, a friend asked, “What do you need to change about yourself?” A few things popped into my head, and I shockingly realized that the things that popped into my head, were entirely human things. In essence, I wanted to change my humanity. After thinking for a moment, I answered that I did not know, but believed change was necessary to transformation in order for me to become more Christ-like. However, I do not think God made us human so that we would ‘work’ ourselves out of being human. Maybe becoming more Christ-like is simply lending more of our humanity to God.

I would rather give my all and fail in love, then succeed in pride. The benefit is I can guarantee that I will fail in love. In addition, Jesus in His humanity did give all; he did love all out, and took the risk in doing so. I am reminded that we measure success and failure quite differently then God, so I wonder if I can just trust God to work through my humanity.

The VIP Journal Entry

This is part of a journal entry series for a class taken in Spring 2007. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

I have overheard people say, “Oh, she/he is important.” Invariably, person is establishing the importance of the person based upon their role. Administrative and leadership roles infer greater prominence over technical or manual labor. “Important” tends to denote a greater value over others. In a Christian Worldview, is not each person equal before God? Some roles consider greater levels of responsibility. So, is that determinative of their importance, or, does society solely consider prestige, money, and power?

God’s image seems caught in the midst of favoritism, blessing those individuals and giving attention to those who are important enough to warrant it. The church also assigns greater levels of importance in its hierarchical structure. Jesus valued the widow who contributed the mite; the church values individuals who can help attain financial goals (buildings, etc.) and fill certain roles. Our value, identity, and roles intertwine.

There was a period, a six-year transition, where people asked me what I was currently doing. I was compelled to tell them, “Nothing.” At the basic level, I was being obedient to God, but even people in the church had difficulty believing that I was doing ‘nothing.’ I had to be doing something. In addition, it messed with my own sense of value and identity.

Even recently, I took a rank reduction in order to be an Air Force Chaplain Candidate. Last summer, I was surprised at how much this affected me. By my uniform/rank, I looked like I had no experience, and some conversations reflected a lower level of respect. The authority and respect of my position and experience were gone, but I was still the same person who warranted those qualities. And don't we all, as individuals uniquely created and gifted by God and endowed by a variety of experiences, warrant a level of respect?

I wrestled with it, and God reminded of the necessity of me to learn people’s stories. I could place judgments of value, usually done unconsciously, on people based upon their rank, position, and title. It is easy for that to happen, since even my identity is enmeshed with my role/activity.

Even as I consider Biblical characters and positions, I sometimes assign greater value to different individuals. This really does an injustice to God’s character, portraying him as someone who really cares about what we can do for him. In any role, whether simple or complicated, God desires relationship.

A relationship centered on Him and defined by love, worship, and obedience. God is not interested in my role, but in who I am as a person. I think God hopes that I will also be interested in who He is and others are. That I will continually recognize the value and importance of people as who He has created and called them to be, not on what the world or I may consider important.

Word Jumbalaya (Communication)

This is part of a journal entry series for a class taken in Spring 2007. Topics are addressed along with our image of God-- how the topic affects our image of God, how our image of God affects our life.

It is amazing how much communication occurs verbally and non-verbally, as well as occurrences of cultural styles. Good communication aids in resolving, avoiding, and navigating conflict. Yet, communication is difficult at times, because the existing tendency is to focus on speaking. Communication style, specifically speaking or writing, sketches a portrait of the speaker/author, enabling persuasion and thought articulation. Little focus exists on listening or asking questions as a part of communication.

I forget at times to be present in a conversation, to devote my attention to the other person, because of my preoccupation or formulating what I might say next. However, recent years, I have practiced active listening skills and asking questions. It has never come natural for me to ask an abundance of questions, but I find value in both processes. Each are an incomplete learning process.

My own and other people’s communication flaws are placed on to God. Is he really listening to me? Is God just simply avoiding answering me because he does not know? Or does He overwhelm me with an abundant of answers telling me exactly what is wrong with my life and what I need to do to fix it versus simply listening? Is what I have to say less valuable, because I am less valuable? Is my style of communication perceived one way, because of my background: social, ethnic, culture and gender?

I do not believe these things at a foundational level, but I am surprised that these ideas occasionally creep in. I wonder if at times when God feels silent, if He is really just listening intently. Things seem vague at times. Where questions lack welcome in church or other settings, God is just waiting for me to ask Him.

I like to think my communication style is fairly straight-forward, and occasionally, expressive. I can be a little brash. I admit there are times where I am still formulating or processing my thoughts as I am speaking. This bothers me mostly when I manage to say something incredibly stupid which unfortunately happens more often then I like.

Other times, I have an abundance of thoughts that I wish to communicate and tend to overload others. I especially welcome clarifying questions here, but find that they rarely occur or sometimes wonder if people heard me. I hate it when I say something and it is not received, until 5 minutes later someone says the same thing and it is received. I wonder is that a difference in the style of communication or the difference in the person saying it. I also have a habit of asking questions rhetorically to raise an issue, invoke thinking, or make a point thinking.

It is valuable to be able to implement or be able to vary the communication style based on the audience. God seems to be very astute in tailoring the communication for impact and to the person, He is specifically addressing.

However, there are instances in pastoral messages where I feel that the interest is not to honestly communicate truth and to allow transformation through that, but in a manipulative, subversive way, it is an attempt to play on my emotions. I do not think God’s communication invokes manipulation. Christians also have their own jargon, and I am challenged to consider how this effects communication with others outside Christian-ese.

My challenge is communicating effectively (both speaking and listening), in grace and truth, in a way that glorifies God and values others. I believe God listens intently and speaks honestly and personally revealing Himself, encouraging or challenging us. However, Jesus’ words were not always received or understood, then and now, and He is a creator of communication. So I think it is safe to say that I will not always be understood nor understand, but communication, like relationships, can continue to be developed as I attempt to love others in our humanity and for transformation in Christ.